What the hell..

I really don't understand. Nan dao zhe yi qie dou shi wo de cuo ma?? Wei shen me yao xie dao zhe yang?!! Yala! Yala! It's all my fault kay?? I never go band, it's my fault. I make new friends, it's my fault!! All MY FAULT KAY?!! I'm feeling so freaking mad now.. what the hell now? Why can't u just freaking tell me in front of me?!! I can't stand it anymore.. First it's her, now it's another her... Wo na li de zui dao ni men???? Shi bu shi wo qiang le ni men de nan peng you hai shi shen me???? Fine la. Say all you want! I don't give a fuck about it anymore. Four years in SIGS, what I've gained? Friends? I admit. But true friends? Not one at all. Even my closest friends, I'm speechless. I've been maligned by ppl for four years since I entered this school. I regret entering this school dy.. I should have just stayed at SAB from the beginning.. SIGS is not the place for me.. I really feel like changing school dy. I can't stand it anymore. Wo zhen de hao nan guo. I treated you guys like you guys are my best buds. But you, how about you? Treat me as what?? a ball? When you need me, you will look me up. But, when you don't need me, you will kick me here and there. I'm NOT! I'm so pissed off and fed up now. Where are those who said that they will always be there with me? No matter what? I think that's all bullshit. My tears are flowing out non stop. No, I don't wanna cry. I wanna be tough. But I can't. It's like all flowing out non stop.. I don't want myself to look pathetic in front of anyone. No. That's not me. I'm emo. But I'm tough. I'm strong. Stop crying now, me. Sorry. That's all for now.